Steppin lightly

Sometimes being in Long Beach is still like driving around in a big puddle of sadness. Meeting a friend for drinks tonight, after twenty minutes of can’t find parking and I don’t even want a drink anyway, I gave myself a change of plan. That heavy tired sadness that won’t even give you one clear feeling, or an image to latch onto, not even tears — just that strange somber focus. So I drove into it.

Put on Astral Weeks for the first time since it haunted me in Portland, and drove down down along the ocean and the wetlands. One place in this circus town where at night you can look out and see only black. I cruised the slow lane and watched the blackness and smelled the bonfires until my lungs unclenched and felt like wings and I gave in to a slow little smile.

And now I’m home.

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~ by Arrrow Marie on August 16, 2009.

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