Beautiful mo(u)rning

Takeoff and landing are the best parts of the flight. Ever since my first airplane flight as a kid, I’ve been totally enchanted by the plane moving through the clouds.

Flying home from Portland, the plane took off directly into the sunrise. I had an East window, so when the plane turned South we came up through the clouds and the dawn was all before me.

I laid my head against the side of the plane, and as I did so I had what I might normally call a vision, except that it was more felt, a vision in my bones. I felt Mom’s face inside the bones of my face, her motions in my motions, the dawn reflecting her spirit in me. I felt as if no one could ever be closer to me than she is in that moment. So perfectly inside me. I began to cry — the easy tears that just well and spill and well and spill.

I sat in the feeling for a long time, crying and smiling and watching the clouds change color, until the stewardess brought my coffee.

At Mom’s memorial, an old poet friend of hers came and took my hands and looked struck my be. “You have her spirit now,” he said. The plane-vision made me remember this. As it turns out, that same day he got in touch to say he wants to go to Hawaii with us for the big memorial. Lovely.

Mourn: feel sorrow (for) OE.; lament (a death, someone dead) OE. str. vb. murnan (also wk. pt. murnde), corr. to wk. vbs. OS. mornon, mornian, OHG. mornēn be anxious, ON. morna pine away, Goth. maurnan be anxious; prob. to be referred to IE. *(s)mer-, repr. by Skr. smárati remember, Gr. mērimna care, sorrow, L. memor mindful.
Hence mournful

Mourn as remember. As care. Mindful? Heartful. Mourn as morn.


~ by Arrrow Marie on October 10, 2009.

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